


everything follows

by pacificblues



Category: VIXX
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Other, Voodoo doll, set a few years after that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 14:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9329651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pacificblues/pseuds/pacificblues
Summary: Not everything is easy, but they try to make it through anyways.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set a few years after the voodoo doll mv. It briefly mentions suicide so just a warning. Hope you like and comments are much appreciated. I used the idea from butimaginevixx   
>  http://butimaginevixx.tumblr.com/post/102012901508/imagine-a-post-voodoo-vixx-helping-each-other-to

He was never quite the same when they got him back.

 

It took weeks of planning, searching, and preparing to find where she took him to. In the end, she took him to deep into the woods, where no one could find him and no one would think to look. For them, they just had a lucky break. 

 

Hongbin had looked at all of them with vacant eyes, looking more through them than at them. He’s eyes were unnerving, pupils replaced with x’s and he never seemed to blink. All the way back from the witch’s lair, he looked at everything and nothing at all. His only acknowledgment he would make to them would be simple shakes of the head. He just allowed himself to be pulled along and it terrified each of them.

 

Hongbin listened to each of them well over the years. Out of all of them, the witch liked him the most and would command him the most. In return, he learned how to listen well or be punished. All of them tried to never tell him to do anything but suggest it. 

 

“Hongbin, do you want to come outside with me?” Jaehwan asked him on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The place they stayed at was small and in the woods, close to the ocean, far away from the city. Before they were taken, Hakyeon and Jaehwan had owned a small magic shop just outside of the city. When they all escaped, they didn’t want to leave the small house they had found and rebuilt. It had too many memories in it, good and bad. It was easier on Hongbin too. He was away from the prying eyes of the public, who knew about the six men stolen by the witch. 

 

Hongbin didn’t answer, but instead kept looking out the window at the fading sunset in the distance. It was getting later earlier and Hongbin hated it. He hated the darkness and the night. He would never admit it to any of them, but he was still so scared of the witch who took them from the world and ruined them.  _ She only ruined you,  _ he thought bitterly,  _ The rest of them are doing just fine, they would do better without you here, they don’t need you, they don’t need you, they don’t- _

 

“Hongbin.” Jaehwan says again, but this time much closer than before. He puts a hand on his shoulder Hongbin jerks aways from the contact, not expecting it. Jaehwan pulls away immediately, but not before Hongbin catches the look of hurt on his face. He quickly grabs his hand before he can get too far, suddenly wanting the contact. He wants to know they like being near him. He  _ needs  _ to know it. He knows he’s holding onto Jaehwan’s hand a little tight with both of his, but if he minds, he doesn't show it. Instead, he gets closer to Hongbin, putting an arm around his shoulder. Hongbin in turn puts his arm around Jaehwans waist, bringing him closer.

 

Simple contact was hard for Hongbin in the beginning. It had taken him years to be able to do this so freely, so openly. Now, he doesn’t think he can go a day without it. They just sit there for a moment, not saying anything, just sitting and watching the sun disappear behind the trees.

 

“I’ve been working on something recently.” Jaehwan says after the sun is gone and both of them were just looking at the remaining receding light. Hongbin looks at him, curiously. It wasn’t unheard of to know Jaehwan was experimenting again, but he rarely told Hongbin about it, not wanting to scare him with magic he didn’t understand. He had once been messing around in his lab early on when Hongbin needed to be watched at all times to make sure he didn’t try to hurt himself. Jaehwan accidentally blew up the spell he was trying, causing smoke to go everywhere. 

 

Hongbin had looked up from the book he was reading from just in time to see Jaehwan collapse to the ground. It was very hazing to Jaehwan what happened next but he does remember Hongbin slapping him hard to keep him awake and him carrying him up the stairs, screaming desperately without words. Jaehwan doesn’t think that any of them will ever forget that sound. He wants to so badly.

 

They spend the majority of the evening like that, holding on to each other while Jaehwan talks about his newest invention. It interests Hongbin even if he gets lost in the jargon used, he likesit when Jaehwan doesn't treat him differently. When they went to bed, Jaehwan had curled up to his left and Wonshik on his right. He knew the others were close by even if he couldn’t see well. For his sake, there was always a light on in the hallway. But by the nightmares that sometimes plagued all of them, Hongbin wasn’t so sure it was just for him.  

 

.

 

Sleep always escaped Hongbin on nights like this. Night where the air was too still, the night was too dark, the stars didn’t shine bright enough, and the moon shined too bright. They all told him to tell someone, any one of them if he went outside at night. It was a rule among them that none of them could go out at night by themselves, but Hongbin had always hated that rule. He didn’t want to wake them up because he wanted some fresh air. It was stupid. They needed sleep and he needed out of here. Just for a hour.

 

Sometime in the night, Wonshik had rolled on his back, sleeping dead to the world. Jaehwan had rolled over and was now doing his best impression of an octopus on Sanghyuk. Crawling out of bed, Hongbin grabbed a nearby jacket, put on his shoes, and left the house. 

 

The moon was shining bright and clear in the sky and looked much better out here than it had in the house. The stars didn’t look as dull too. He wasn’t for sure where he was going but walking felt nice. Typically, he stayed close to the house, only venturing to the edge of the woods. But it didn’t feel satisfying enough. So he just kept walking. He knew it was a bad idea to go this far away.  _ There you go again, making life harder for them _ , Hongbin thought with a bitter edge. 

 

He doesn’t remember how he got to the cliff by the ocean, but here he is. He’s been here only once before, with Taekwoon and Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk had wanted to jump off and swim in the ocean. Taekwoon talked him out of it, said it was too dangerous. Looking at it now, it was very high. Hongbin knew he couldn’t swim, knew the fall alone would probably kill him if the waves didn’t first. It was stupid to be this close to the edge. Even so, he couldn’t pull himself from the edge. He couldn’t stop staring at the waves crashing into the cliff, into the surround rocks. 

 

Hours must pass because the moon is low in the sky, and Hongbin starts to feel tired. The only good thing about these night is that he sleeps well when sleep finally comes to him. Standing from his spot, he takes a final look at the ocean. It’s so vast, so wide, so much. It scares Hongbin, knowing how much he is to blame for holding back the others. He knows Sanghyuk wanted to move back to city to make his studying easier, that Wonshik wanted to travel the world, that Taekwoon liked the quiet the forest offered, but the city was always his calling, and Jaehwan and Hakyeon both wished to have their old shop back. But all of them are tied to him now. They can’t leave him, won’t leave and it hurts Hongbin, knowing he clipped their wings before their first flight. 

 

He’s never felt an urge to hurt himself before, never got why the others kept a close watch on him before, until now. Even he didn't understand these feelings,

 

It would be easier for them, he tells himself. They wouldn’t even know you’re gone really, it would a blessing for them, he thinks. He’s so caught up in his own thoughts, he doesn’t hear the voice getting closer, he doesn’t hear the footsteps, he doesn’t realize how close he is to the edge until his foot doesn’t hit the ground and there are arms around him. He knows someone is screaming and vaguely registers it’s him who is. 

 

“-bin are you insane! You could have died, what are you thinking!” Sanghyuk is yelling and pulling him back away from the edge, and this exactly what Hongbin doesn’t want. He doesn’t want them to worry, can’t stand their worry. He claws desperately at Sanghyuk’s hands, trying to pull them away from his body, get distance, but Sanghyuk is too strong. When had that happened?

 

“Hongbin, please calm down.” Hongbin only shakes his head, guilt and regret already spreading through him like wildfire. He can hear the others near by. He didn’t mean to wake them up, he wasn’t going to hurt himself, why did they have to care so much? 

 

There are tears forming in his eyes, and he stops struggling against Sanghyuk. It’s a losing battle, he knows. He’s so tired. He can’t win. When he falls to his knees, Sanghyuk and Taekwoon follow like it’s natural. He feels more hands on him. It should be comforting, knowing so many people care for you. It should be.

 

After what feels like hours, but what is really only minutes, Hakyeon stands, helping Hongbin up to his feet. Hakyeon must catch Hongbin’s gaze still stuck on the ocean, because when he speaks, it’s soft, but commanding. “Hongbin, don’t come here again by yourself.” When Hongbin doesn’t turn his head to look at Hakyeon, he starts again. “Hongbin I’m serious, you scared us.”

 

“What if Hyukkie wouldn’t have gotten here in time? You can’t swim Hongbin, you would have drowned.” Jaehwan continues for Hakyeon. This is too much. Can’t they tell he didn’t mean to get so close. 

 

“That was dangerous Hongbinnie, seriously, don’t scare us like that again.” Wonshik pipes in from his left. He feels like some child who got in trouble for running the house.

 

“Hongbin, you can’t do that again.” Hongbin still refuses to look at Hakyeon. He hates when they talk to him like this, like he’s a kid. If he could just tell them to stop, tell them he’s fine, he wasn’t going to doing anything. Just tell them- “Hongbin-”

 

“No.” Hongbin says, voice raspy with underuse. It surprises Hongbin more than anyone else. Hongbin looks a Hakyeon, who has a strange look on his face. He is standing there with his mouth open like a fish gasping for water. The others sport a similar expression. “No.” he says again, this time with more power behind it. It’s still weak, but they get the implication behind it, understand the power behind it. 

 

It isn’t much, it’s minor really, in the large span of Hongbin’s recovery, but it’s a huge step. He’s never spoke a word since he escaped. It’s a start.

 

.

 

Ever since the night on the cliff, Hongbin had truly promised not to wander off anymore at night. Hakyeon tells him to talk to them more about things that bother him. He can’t say a lot still so he writes it. He writes in a journal what he feels, about them, about himself. When they read how he feels about him holding them down, they don’t let him leave the bedroom until they are completely sure he knows he didn’t hold them back.

 

“You know we love you right?” Sanghyuk whispers to him that night, holding him close and tight. “I wouldn’t trade you guys for anything. I know you think you kept us here, but honestly, you’re the reason we stay. We wouldn’t be complete without you.” Hongbin can feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he tries to hold them back. “Besides, Jaehwan teaches me everything I need to know about magic here. We both know I would have been kicked out of university the second day.” It startles a laugh out of Hongbin. He laughs more freely these days. It feels nice.

 

.

 

When he first said it, it was after lunch one afternoon. It was rainy outside and Hakyeon had declared it a cuddle day and there were little protest. During lunch Hongbin watched as Sanghyuk teased Hakyeon, holding his chopsticks and fork up high where Hakyeon couldn’t reach. Hakyeon, in return, neck chopped him. Wonshik was playing with Jaehwan. They were teasing each other about something. Even though Hongbin didn’t know what, it still brought a smile to his face. Taekwoon held out to Hongbin a bowl of rice to him suddenly. He took it gratefully and began to eat. He was halfway through lunch when it hit him out of nowhere. He really did love each and every one of them. He knew this of course, but it just seemed more clear now. They saved him from the darkest hole he had ever been in. They held him when he cried and cried with him when it became hard to go on. They were his family.

 

When lunch was over, they all went to the living room with a small TV they had revamped and turned it to some old movie none of them could remember the name of. The rain pattered against the window, soothing them. It was relaxing. Hongbin sat up from the blanket nest they created and nudged Sanghyuk who was beside him, causing him to look up, which made Jaehwan sit up, causing everyone to look at Hongbin. He was picking at his hands, a bad habit he only did when nervous. He felt hands take his and hold them for him. They rubbed circles into his hand, telling him without words to take his time.

 

“I-” Hongbin starts and stops. He’s filled with emotions and there are so many, so many good ones, he can’t express all of them. So he settles with something simple. “I love you guys.” He says after a minute or two, face still looking down, eye closed. He hears everyone get closer to him, hugging him and telling him not cry, but how can he not? He’s never loved anyone like he loves them. He feels hands on his face and he’s facing Hakyeon who’s crying too.

 

“We love you too, Binnie.” Hakyeon breathes out, voice thick with tears. Hongbin holds onto him tightly as everyone agrees with Hakyeon, tells him how much they love him. It’s warm and comforting and he’s never felt so loved.

 

None of them are perfect, far from it. They all have edges that can cut. Hongbin knows he can’t be fixed with a kiss and smile, that he is broken in ways none of them can fix. They tell him over and over that they don’t want to fix him, they want to help him. He knows everyday brings a new challenge, a new fear, but if he has them, he might not be as scared.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not really sure if i wanna keep going with this but if yall have any ideas with this, let me know. :)


End file.
